


The Call of the Void

by wide_eyed



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Demons, Fade, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Mental Heath, Romance, Skyhold, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Trust, get by with a little help from my friends, siding with the Templars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-23
Updated: 2017-12-23
Packaged: 2019-02-19 02:38:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13114221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wide_eyed/pseuds/wide_eyed
Summary: Overwhelmed Evelyn Trevelyan is holding on by the skin of her teeth, sometimes it takes a nosey guard (who totally knows his Commander is in love, i mean come on who doesn’t?!) and a friend to make you release what’s right in front of your face and has been all along.





	The Call of the Void

**Author's Note:**

> This is a one shot i have been mulling over a while, i have never written public fanfic before so thought i would give it go by writing a single scene and seeing what you all thought before I dived into something bigger! Advice and creative feedback is very welcome, i love to write but have never actually been brave enough to post something I’ve written before!
> 
> ——————— indicates a shift in perspective :)

“Commander!” Cullen rubbed his forehead and tried unsuccessfully to keep the scowl from his face. He wished this wretched day would be over already. Truly Skyhold was an indomitable fortress but there was much work to be done to make her full habitable and to bolster their forces to prepare against another attack. The all too fresh memories of Haven did nothing to help his growing headache and he glanced up at the scout, irritable at yet another interruption which would undoubtably add another job to his ever growing list.

“What is it?” When the man didn’t respond immediately Cullen looked up sharply only to find the man looking, well sheepish. 

“Well?!” He didn’t have time for this, glaring at the man he tried to get him to meet his eyes but the scout stared firmly at the floor. If the man was uncomfortable speaking to his superiors he would have to speak with Leliana about getting him reassigned. “Spit it out man” he demanded, deciding he would show him the door if he delayed further.

“Well Sir, it’s only, I just.... I wasn’t sure who else to come to, It’s the lady Herald, that is i mean the lady Inquisitor Sir.” Cullen was on his feet in an instant, hand on his blade, a ripple of unease running down his back. Was she safe? In danger? What could possibly be wrong? He saw the flash of fear in the Scout’s eyes as he charged towards him and made a conscious effort to calm himself, if the danger was imminent the whole of Skyhold would be at arms ready to defend her. Why then had the scout approached him alone? Quirking his brow at the man he bade him continue with little patience.

“It, um, it would be best if i show you Sir” he stuttered darting quickly out of the door. Following swiftly senses alert and on edge Cullen mentally calculated all the things that could be wrong. He would not allow, could not allow, further harm to come to her after all she had been through at Haven not if it was within his power to prevent it.

The scout led him quickly to the undercroft that held the dungeons, the cells were empty and us such no guard was on duty. “I was doing my rounds Sir and I heard.... well i think she needs help Sir and i didn’t know who else...” The scout fumbled awkwardly. Cullen approached the door that opened on to the outer cells, though structurally sound large parts of the floor and ceiling had come down so the area wasn’t used. He heard a noise that could only be described as a keening and the hairs on his arms began to rise.

“What’s your name solider?”

“Higgins Sir”

“You did the right thing, please guard the outer door, allow no one access without my express permission. Get another recruit to do your rounds.”

“Yes Sir”

“And Higgins... Thank you.” Higgins ducked his head with a brief smile and left. Cullen reached out and placed the palm of his hand on the door and bowed his head. Part of him desperately wanted to go and offer what comfort he could but the other half of his mind seemed to be pulled back to Kinloch, he recalled that noise for he had made it, the despair in the sound pulled at his very heart.

“Afraid, alone, so very frightened, who can i trust? How can i help? Too much, too much.” The spirit boy Cole appeared behind him startling him badly. Willing his racing heart to slow he frowned at the boy. Cole tilted his head and met his eyes for perhaps the first time since he had met him. “You can help. Her grief, its big, but you know, you’ve seen. Demons and reality, how to tell between the two, you can help.” He disappeared then and Cullen steeled himself and went though the door.

She was curled behind some crates one arm tightly wrapped around her knees, a hand placed over her mouth in a vain effort to muffle any sound. She rocked slightly back and forward as tears ran down her face.  
“Inquiz...” She visibly flinched, he reached out a hand to calm her “Evelyn.” She looked at him then, slightly shocked. She had insisted for months he call her by her first name but he could never bring himself to address her by anything but her title, using her name had seemed improper him being a commoner from Ferelden and her a lady Marcher. 

“Are you all right?” It seemed a ridiculous thing to say when she was so clearly in distress but words were not his strong suit. Dashing the tears from her eyes, she nodded her head jerkily 

“I’m fine, I’m fine, I just, I am..” her head started to shake slowly from side to side, each word coming out with a pant “I, I, I can’t, I” and with that the tears flowed harder than ever, sobs wracking her body. Cullen decided to abandon all sense of propriety and sinking to the floor he pulled her into his arms as she quietly went to pieces.

Holding her like this was an exquisite torture, something he had wanted to do for longer than he cared to admit, he could offer her little but his physical presence and he hoped it would be enough. Her head tucked under his chin, she clung to him as he stroked her hair trying to soothe her pain away.

———————

Try as she might Evelyn couldn’t seem to control her tears. She was broken and she couldn’t seem to figure out how to pull the pieces of herself together again. The steel band of Cullen’s arms seemed to be all that was keeping her grounded, without it she felt as if she might just float away, giving in to the void that called her. He stroked her hair murmuring nonsense, the burnished waves snagging on his roughened gloves. It felt good to finally give in to her tears, to stop pretending she felt strong and confident, the carefully maintained facade falling away to reveal the frightened girl underneath.

The tension started to leave her body and she relaxed into Cullen’s hold, the heat from her body seemed to reflect back off his chest plate, warming her and easing the chill in her bones. It wasn’t the most comfortable position but she wouldn’t move for all the gold in Thedas. Finally feeling under control she tilted her head and gazed into her commanders honeyed hazel eyes. The small scar at the corner of his mouth tugged upwards with a gentle smile. He really was incredibly beautiful. The man was a study in contradictions, strong and commanding, a fearless military leader, but the way he was looking at her, holding her made her see the man underneath; kind, gentle, selfless. Something about him seemed to call to her, if anyone could understand what she was going through it would be him.

His hand swept over her hair again but this time came to rest on the side of her face, cupping her cheek, his thumb gently caressing her. She leaned into it, longing flashing through her body. It would be so easy to lift her face, have her lips meet his, to get a taste of the man who had haunted her dreams since she met him. His eyes seemed to steel themselves as though he had reached the same conclusion and he leaned in slowly, clearly telegraphing his intent. Eyes closing in anticipation she waited, marvelling that for the first time since she fell from that damm hole in the sky something was coming easy to her. 

Easy.... something coming easy... maybe too easy? The thought flitted across her mind and with a jerk she flung herself backwards out of Cullen’s arms. He jumped up attempting to catch her arm as she backed away shaking her head vigorously from side to side. A fiery blush coloured his neck and face as his other hand rubbed the back of his neck in a nervous gesture.

“No, no, no! This can’t be happening!” She shook her head from side to side desperately trying to clear the images from her mind. “This is too easy! How did they know to use you to tempt me when i didn’t... when I hadn’t even allowed myself to think... NO!” The last word a scream she backed up further now balancing on the edge of the collapsing floor. Maybe this was the only way.

———————

Cullen burned with embarrassment, he couldn’t believe he had nearly kissed the Inquisitor. She jerked away from him, stumbling backwards on the rough stone floor. Waves of shame rolled over him as he reached to steady her, she was precariously close to where the ancient rock had fallen away, a gaping maw leading to the waterfall below. It was only then that he took in her mumbled words and a shiver of fear ran down his spine. The panic in her voice and eyes were an echo of his own stretching back to Kinloch hold, the inner circle had not pushed her for details about what had happened at Therinfal beyond what was important to the inquisition but he knew she didn’t sleep, often seeing the lights from her tower as he too worked though the night. 

The spirit boy popped into being again little more than touching distance from Evelyn’s right side, he was crouched rocking on the balls of his feet, Cullen realised he was prepared to launch and tackle her away from the edge if necessary, the boy looked from him to Evelyn and tilted his head

“She’s afraid, fears she dreaming, demons, death, maybe that’s the way to go, let go. Falling would be peaceful.” Evelyn shook her head viciously, hands on her ears whimpering.

“Cole i can’t let them take me, i can’t let Envy win. I can’t bare to let anymore people die.” Her voice was a whisper, a sad smile on her face. Cullen saw the exact moment she made the decision to step back, to fall. He stopped and raised his palms to her the unexpected action causing her to hesitate. 

“Help her!” The boy insisted, eyes wide and staring, imploring Cullen’s aid, “he can help” he whispered back to Evelyn. She cocked her head at him remind Cullen sharply of a Mabari he had seen as a boy, her hair the same shining brown as its coat.

Using his best commander voice he straightened himself to his full height. He remembered clearly that feeling of not knowing if he was awake or dreaming, he still woke shaking from nightmares of being trapped and tortured at Kinloch hold and wished with all his heart there was an easy way to take that fear from her.

“Ground yourself.” Authority rang in his tone. He would be obeyed. “Only you can determine if your awake or in the fade. Use your senses. Focus on one thing you can see, can smell, can touch, can hear, can taste.” Her eyes met his then and he felt stronger. “The more you focus the harder it is for them to maintain the illusion. Hold on to that piece of yourself, that one small idea they cannot take from you. They cannot break you.” He smiled then, “for you are one of the strongest women i have ever known. Come back to us Evie, you are not alone anymore. I will not let them hurt you again. I am so sorry we piled all this on you and didn’t notice sooner that you needed help. There is no shame in that, let me help you. I have been where you are, it is a battle every day. I need your help too, i cannot do this with out you. Please Evie.” 

Reaching out his arm he implored her with his eyes to believe him, inching towards her. He saw the longing on her face, she desperately wanted to believe him. “Please.” He implored. She reached back to him her smile rising like the sun, its twin echoed on his own face though he knew his scar twisted it into more of a smirk. Her finger tips just brushed his when Cole tensed and it all went to hell.

———————

She reached back towards Cullen, her fear dissipating. She felt so foolish but she knew Cullen wouldn’t judge her. The fact she hadn’t slept properly since Therinfal Redoubt and even less since Haven probably hadn’t help much either. Focusing like he told her she kept her eyes on the scar on his lip, flexed her left hand against the leather bindings covering her mark; hearing the leather creak as her knuckles tightened. Taking a deep breath in she could smell a delicious blend of honey and wood smoke and man, a combination she had always associated with her commander. She could taste the salt her of tears on her lips. She knew then truly that she was awake and knew without a doubt she could trust Cullen to help her.

Just as their fingers brushed she heard a shout from the direction of the dungeon, the door to the outer cells swung open with a deafening bang. It reverberated across the floor and time appeared to slow as she felt the floor beneath her feet begin to give way.

The Seeker stood framed in the door way shock and anger plain on her face, darling Cole her first real friend, tense as a spring, fear clouding his face. And Cullen, dear Cullen, how had it taken her this long to realise how she felt? To realise what a good man he was underneath his imposing exterior? He looked at her with horror and as she started to fall her only thought was that she hoped he didn’t blame himself.

As the floor disappeared beneath her feet Cullen lunged at her as Cole jumped too. Cullen’s hand locked firmly round her wrist his body flat to the floor but their momentum pulled him forwards, half his body now hanging over the abyss, the rest of him slowly sliding forwards with her weight. He tried to lift her toward him with one hand but the movement made him slip forward again and he cursed. She could see the phenomenal effort it was taking to hold himself steady.

Suddenly he jerked backwards pulling her with him, glancing quickly she could see Cole had one hand tightly wrapped round the Commanders foot the other in the firm grasp of the Seeker who was bracing herself on the door frame, between them they pulled her back to safely.

Getting to his feet Cullen pulled her up with him, the pair of them shaking hard with adrenaline and exertion. Leaning his forehead to hers he steadied them both, making a conscious to slow his breathing which in turn helped her steady her own. 

“Maker’s breath that was close” his voice a rough mutter over the beating of her heart.

The seeker cleared her throat and they sprang apart the intimacy of the moment broken, matching blushes burning their cheeks.

“I helped!” Laughed Cole causing her to laugh in turn as she pulled the boy into her arms squeezing him tightly. “I helped, i helped!”

“Yes Cole, yes you did. Thank you.” Turning she faced Cullen and the Seeker. “Thank you too.” She blushed again then straightening her back she linked her hand with Coles and they walked out, not looking back,Cole dancing slightly with each step.

“What was that about?!” The Seeker enunciated the the What staring daggers at Cullen as he watched them leave.

“You and i need to have words Cassandra, all the other advisor’s too. War room, 10 minutes. Some things need to change around here.” Back straight he too turned and marched out of the dungeon leaving one very confused Seeker wondering just what in the hell she had walked into.

**Author's Note:**

> I hoped you enjoyed my little story any feedback is very much welcome! Sorry for any errors, i read and re read but may have missed something. Thanks for taking the time to check this out! X


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